How to talk to your child's teacher about concerns (with examples)

Establishing effective communication strategies with your child’s teacher is a gift that keeps on giving. When you and your child’s teacher are able to speak with each other openly and transparently, it makes it easier to reach out when you have questions or concerns.

In this guide, we will outline how to talk to your child’s teacher about concerns, including how to write a letter of concern, and we’ll provide you with an example letter so that you can adapt it for yourself.

How to talk to your child’s teacher about concerns

• How to communicate with teachers about your child
• How to write a letter of concern
• Letter of concern example

How to communicate with teachers about your child

Teachers are incredibly busy, so if you are wondering how to communicate with teachers about your child, the best advice is to do it efficiently. By being clear and concise in your communication, you can ensure that your message gets across and the teacher is able to understand and implement.

Talking to your child’s teacher at the beginning of the school year

At the beginning of the school year, you are often given the opportunity to write a letter to describe your child to their teacher. You might even be able to come in and meet with their teacher so you can build a relationship with them.

The teacher wants to learn about your child so that they can best work with them during the school year. Introduce your child by providing any nicknames, their pronouns, and briefly explaining the family structure. Then, tell them about your child’s strengths and weaknesses and use specific examples. Make sure you highlight any medical conditions, allergies, bathroom issues, learning disabilities, or other important considerations that they should know about from the offset.

Talking to your child’s teacher during the school year

If you want to chat with your child’s teacher during the school year, there are a few ways to do this.

1. Discuss during parent teacher conferences. Schools build in the opportunity for you to meet face-to-face with your child’s teacher. These parent teacher conferences are a great way for you to talk to your child’s teacher about concerns you might have as well as gain important feedback about how your child is doing in school.
2. Schedule a phone call. You can schedule a phone call with your child’s teacher to discuss your concerns. However, it is easier for the teacher if you send a note beforehand with an agenda or provide information about what you want to cover so that they can prepare.
3. Write a letter of concern. Many teachers give parents their school email address for correspondence during the school year. You can send an email to your child’s teacher with a letter of concern attached or written in the body. This is usually the best course of action because it lets you think through your concerns and stay organized. Plus, when teachers receive your letter, they can be better prepared for further discussions.

How to write a letter of concern

Now that you know writing down your concerns is the best way to start the conversation with your child’s teacher, you might be wondering how to write a letter of concern effectively. We’ll outline some tips to keep in mind and then provide a letter of concern example.

1. Start writing in a separate window. Write your letter in a different document or on a piece of scrap paper before putting it in the email. That way, you have time to review it and avoid any mistakes by sending it too early or while you are heated.
2. Be respectful. More than anything else, the most important piece of advice while writing a letter of concern is to be respectful. Address your child’s teacher the way that your child addresses them (for example, “Ms. Beth” or “Mr. Cohen”). Even if you are upset, maintain a well mannered tone. Losing your temper will not help the situation, so keep it as light as possible.
3. Describe the situation. Your child’s teacher might not know what is going on, so make sure you spend time describing the situation that is concerning you. Do not just say, “You probably know what happened with Jeremy.” They might not! Be as specific as possible and make it easy for them to be on your side.
4. Propose solutions and be collaborative. Don’t leave it all up to the teacher. Provide your own possible solutions for the issue. Then, let the teacher know you are open to cooperating with them to resolve the problem. There are likely things that both of you can do to make the situation more manageable.
5. Thank the teacher. Conclude your letter by thanking the teacher for listening and letting them know that you look forward to working together to solve the problem and avoid similar problems in the future. Provide your contact information so that they can get back to you to discuss further.

Letter of concern example

My name is Sarah Miller and I am Jeremy’s mother. Jeremy has been really enjoying his experience in your 4th grade class. He especially has been loving all of the extra activities that you include in your lessons to make the class more fun!

I am writing to you to discuss a concern I have about one of the other students in Jeremy’s class. Jeremy has come home from school crying at least once a week for the past few weeks. He finally told me that he feels he is being bullied by his classmate, Brianna, who sits next to him. She has stolen his pencils, kicked away his chair, and made fun of his clothes.

I know you have a lot going on in a classroom of 15 4th graders and Jeremy has said the instances have mainly happened while you were not in the room. Therefore, I wanted to raise these concerns with you so we can figure out a solution. My suggestion to start would be moving Brianna to a different seat away from Jeremy to see if that helps the situation.

My hope is that we can work together to resolve this issue and prevent anything from happening like this again. It would be great if we could schedule a call to collaborate and discuss what we can both do to help.

You can reach me during the day until 6pm at my cell phone: 555-555-5555 and via email. I’m looking forward to working together with you!

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Hopefully our tips and example will help you as you navigate how to talk to your child’s teacher about your concerns. The most important tip to remember is to be respectful and calm so you can maintain a positive relationship with your child’s teacher. The team at Sawyer is always here to help if you are looking for resources or fun activities for your children. Best of luck ahead!